Sunday, February 24, 2008

99 Success Secrets of Jesus

Did you know that "Virtually All Classic Success Literature In One Way Or Another, Copy The Success Secrets Of Jesus!"?*

Now you can learn those secrets for yourself. For only $14.99 plus shipping and handling, you can buy The 99 Success Secrets of Jesus.

"Learning about Jesus from the gospels is a good place to start, but if you really want to unlock the secrets to Jesus' amazing success, you have to look deeper, at the elusive obvious."

But if you buy this book, it will all be made clear for you. You will learn success secrets like these:

  • Secret #1 He Knew Who He Was
  • Secret #3 He Was A Leader
  • Secret #9 He Was Decisive
  • Secret #10 He Embraced Paradox
  • Secret #13 He Freed His Mind
  • Secret #21 He Was An Expert
  • Secret #24 He Was Controversial
  • Secret #31 He Was A Giver
  • Secret #32 He Was Committed
  • Secret #49 He Faced His Fear
  • Secret #55 He Got Attention
  • Secret #76 He Suffered
  • Secret #90 He Was Misunderstood
  • Secret #94 He Created A Brand
  • Secret #98 He Rose Again

I'm not sure how helpful number 98 is. If your regenerative power is not up to snuff, you might not want to count on this one. But with 99 secrets, you should have everything you need for professional and personal success.

So if you are a failure, you have no excuse!

Pastor Rod

*If you are troubled by the bad grammar, maybe you should look a little deeper for some more serious problems, such as bad logic and terrible theology.

2 comments:

daniel the smith said...

I was really hoping this was another parody... :(

Uncle Ben said...

You mean it isn't? Yikes, I hope nobody's foolish enough to buy that.